YEsterday night, i went over to KKs aprtment and we were chillin. We had sex and we talked afterwards. He expressed to me that he felt uncomfortable that we were still having sex. He basically was saying he still felt committed to me and because of that couldnt give himself to another girl. I told him that I wanted to understand what he was saying, but i already understood. I mean, i know that he is a good person with a good heart and that if we were sexually active with each other, his conscience would not let him be with someone else. I guess somewhere in my heart of hearts i was still using that as a way to hold on to him. How trashy! Using sex as a tool. I mean, I enjoy our sex but i think a big part of my enjoyment is because it is with him. We decided not to have sex with each other for at least a month and see how it goes. He was telling me in a nut shell that he still had feelings for me and he couldnt determine if they were genuine or if it was because we are having sex. As much as i pretended to be strong and say i wanted him to date other girls, and i wanted him to be fine, inside i was sayin, "i still love u KK, and i want to be only yours, and i dont want to share u with anyone. Lets stop this shyt and be together, and grow together, and know love togeter" but fear held the words inside. If u ever read this...thats the way i feel, and possibly will feel forever and for always.
oh well, ill let yall know how it all unfolds.
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