I am in a state of total and utter "i dont know." School is blowing me because it seems no matter how hard i try all I am getting is "ok". I am happy that this semester was more progressive and that i know i busted my ass, i have faith that my joy will come. with KK i am happy. i want us to continue to grow. I love him. I really do. There is no one now. I mean seriously. The others have no place, even AL without having done anything crazy to sway me this way has lost his place. I am not thinking of anyone else. No one is as appealing as him. And he fullfills all my wants and needs, what else would I go out to look for. I have yet to go christmas shopping. I just want to get Jen, my aunts kids, and KK a gift. And of course my secret santa. But i really want to get KK something nice and i truly dont care if he gets me something at all. I dont know why i am like that. I dont want anything really from anyone. Nothing. I just want to give the people I care about most gifts and leave it there. I am afraid!
As i was writing the notion just reached me that at this very moment, the person that seems to be my refuge from the cold world is KK. WOW...
I dont think he can ever fully understand what he means to me...